Hormones
by Footloose Poets
Summary: Oneshot. There were times when the Pharaoh wished that of all the people in the world, he didn't have to share a body with a teenage boy. As much as he loved Yugi, he couldn't stand the boy's hormones. Yami is forced to suffer some of the grievances of puberty.


**This is a little lighthearted oneshot I wrote. It came from the idea that feelings like lust and infatuation and whatnot are born from just chemicals in our brain. Okay, to be fair, apparently every emotion is but I feel these particularly are, since they're mostly temporary and instinct-driven rather than steeped in real relationships and bonding. Anyway, I considered the fact that while Yami is perfectly capable of feeling love, as a disembodied spirit he wouldn't be constantly thrown around by hormones and instincts - as Yugi would, being a perfectly normal teenager going through puberty. Thus, this fic was written.**

**Warnings: hormonal teenagers, so needless to say there are mild sexual references.**

* * *

There were times when the Pharaoh wished that of all the people in the world, he didn't have to share a body with a teenage boy. He loved Yugi – more than anything – but he often wondered why they were fated to meet at _this_ point in the boy's development, when something in his body made everything so intense and confusing that Yami wondered how mortals handled it. Yugi called them hormones. Yami didn't really care what they were called – only that they made their body very hard to handle.

He didn't notice it during duels, but on the rare occasion he was in control outside of such situations he couldn't believe the difference they made in his emotions. It all hurt more and made so much less sense and almost everything felt like a challenge to his masculinity.

It was exhausting, but this wasn't even the worst part.

It wasn't that Yami, as a spirit, was incapable of human emotion. He liked to think he felt a very healthy range of emotions, even if he experienced them a little differently than one of the living. It was simply that these emotions were incredibly heightened – especially around people of the opposite sex.

He hadn't expected any less from a teenage boy, of course. Despite Yugi's best efforts, the young light's feelings did unfortunately slip through their link from time to time and Yami tried his best to ignore them. He knew there were girls the boy fancied and emotions he was still getting used to and that was just how youth worked. He even had a fair idea of what Yugi was up to when he made a point of quietly taking off the Puzzle and putting it far enough away that their link was all but broken. He could easily tolerate such things.

Yami only wished these so-called 'hormones' didn't affect _him_ as well.

_Yugi_, he called in irritation through their link. _Yugi, this isn't funny. Come back, Aibou._

There was absolute silence from the other end.

_Yugi._

Silence again. Why did he ever agree to take over for a day? Oh, that's right. Yugi had woken up anxious and weary because he'd heard that an old bully he'd known in middle school was transferring to Domino High and that his hair was so memorable there was no way he could hide from trouble. The Pharaoh could never refuse his hikari when the boy was so distressed.

Now Yami sat in science class – perhaps the most ridiculous and bewildering subject he knew Yugi to take – beside his other half's assigned partner. They were supposed to be listening to the teacher's instructions before performing an experiment, but it was awfully hard to concentrate when his partner for the day happened to be a young woman.

According to the body Yami now commanded, she was very attractive.

_Aibou_, he tried. _None of your teacher's instructions make any sense. If you don't take over you'll probably fail this class._

He waited for a response, but apparently Yugi didn't care about his science grade. More likely, he knew exactly why Yami wanted to switch out.

_You can say farewell to your perfect school report, then_, the spirit told him.

He heard a scoff from his hikari, but nothing else. He gritted his teeth. The teacher finished explaining the task and set the students to work.

"Okay," the girl – the name _Rachel_ came to him – said flatly. "So we're boiling the leaf to kill it first."

Yami swallowed. "Y-yes."

"You set the burner up, I'll measure out the spirits." She sounded incredibly disinterested and didn't bother making eye contact with him.

The Pharaoh stood up and looked down at the Bunsen burner on the lab bench. Right. He vaguely remembered watching Yugi use it before. He did what he could.

"No!" the girl – _Rachel_, she has a name! – snapped, seeing him attach the gas tube to the wrong part of burner. "You do it like this."

She leaned over and took it from his hands and he was absolutely mortified when her chest brushed his shoulder and he felt his face burn. Oh, Ra help him! He hated this feeling. He never felt it in the Puzzle - it never bothered him as a spirit at all; apparently lust was only a mortal emotion.

The girl pulled away when she'd finished setting up the burner properly and Yami placed their leaf in the beaker of water as he'd been told. He sighed, relieved he had something to focus on besides this girl.

"Pull it out now!" she told him. "It can't stay in there all day!"

He complied immediately, using the tweezers she handed him.

"Seriously Mutou, did you read the method last night?" Rachel asked him.

"I… briefly," Yami said.

She huffed and set up the test tube she'd filled with spirits. He considered trying to help but realised he had no idea how.

"Mutou!"

The Pharaoh looked up to see the teacher staring sternly down at him.

"If you don't put your safety glasses on this instant I'll be seeing you in detention!" he barked and stalked away.

Yami was about to retaliate when he saw everyone in the classroom glance in his direction. It wouldn't normally bother him but… curses, now it did. He silently slipped on his glasses and glanced at where Rachel was up to. She was bent over the bench, adjusting the retort clamp.

He felt his eyes moving. No! Don't! They travelled down her back. Stop it! She's not even interested in you, you perverted bastard! The Pharaoh cursed Yugi's young body in ancient tongues. _NO!_

Despite every effort, his amethyst orbs reached her backside. Her skirt was so short it revealed the edge of her lacy underwear beneath. Oh gods. This was so wrong. Yami wanted to die. He felt blood rushing beneath his skin. Look away before someone sees you! _Look AWAY!_

After struggling for what felt like an eternity, he finally managed to tear his eyes away from the girl's figure. He leaned against the bench, sighing. His heart thumped so hard in his chest he wondered if it could be heard by his classmates.

_Yugi! This is ridiculous!_ he roared.

Yami heard snickering from the boy.

_Aibou, please! _he despaired. _This is wrong, I'm three thousand years old for Ra's sake!_

There was no reply but more laughter.

"Mutou!" the teacher shouted again. "What have I said about leaning on the benches during an experiment!"

Yami straightened up, his face burning.

* * *

The Pharaoh survived until the end of science class, thankfully. He'd managed to make so many mistakes that Rachel had insisted he just leave as soon as they were dismissed and she would clean everything up. Her frown was… no. It wasn't. Stop it!

"Bye Mutou," she called curtly after him. "Hopefully next time you'll have your head screwed on properly."

Yami glanced back at that statement. She was gathering up the used test tubes and carrying them to the basin. Her skirt danced around, teasing with more flashes of her undergarments. He wanted to feel sick to the stomach, but instead his body felt incredibly hot. Once again he heard his hikari's mischievous laughter from across their link.

Yami absolutely despised Yugi's hormones.


End file.
